Shastri Carolyn Krusinski was our guest speaker on Tuesday and I have dedicated much thought to the insightful discussion we had with her last week.
What is a practice? How and when does it become a path? Is it something you decide or does it happen naturally? When do you realize it? Do you even? Why does it become a path? Should it? If there is a path, is there an entrance as in this photo? Is is clearly defined or does it take shape as time goes on? Does a path have an end if the beginning is uncertain? Should it?
I thought about meditation and how it started as my practice. I do not consider my first curious venture into the Shambhala center for Under 30 night as the beginning. Rather, it began when I would constantly ask good friends of mine about what Shambhala means to them since they had been practicing and/or been on the path for a few years already. They always graciously indulged me with their thoughts and experiences. As I realized how deeply my friends had felt and how much they have become more aware, outward, and not-at-all somber, unemotional, or withdrawn in a negative way...and that I held such a vested interest in meditation without having tried it yet...I decided to go to the Shambhala center as soon as I could.
I have been meditating semi-regularly for about 7 months, visited a meditation center during this time, and have been more active in the local Shambhala community. Does that mean I am on the path? Frankly, no. I do not feel as though I have a path yet. I DO know that Shambhala or some form of meditation will always be a strong and vibrant part of my life, but what it will become and what it ultimately means for me I do not know just yet. I have not realized how it will be kept close to my heart and mind in the future. Meditation is not something I believe I will deliberately "use" for a particular gain, goal, or purpose. I know that its purpose will take shape on its own in its own way for me. So it will be a natural, constantly changing path. Where it starts? I have no idea! But I can't wait to find out.
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