Being Grounded Makes You Happier: A Case Study in Happiness

Which seems like it would be a happier existence: living freely in a Manhattan penthouse as a billionaire among family and friends or being arrested for fraud, stripped of your estate, and condemned to living and dying in prison?

I'm sure you can spot a counterintuitive answer on its way and indeed the answer is the latter. Where do these two options come from?

I was reading Bernie Madoff's interview with Barbara Walters and struck by this:

He says that while he was in jail, during the four months before he was sent to prison, he did think about suicide, but he didn't have the courage," said Walters, who interviewed Madoff about two weeks ago. "But now he says, in prison, he never thinks about it. He's happier in prison."

and his justification?

"I feel safer here than outside. I have people to talk to, no decisions to make. I know I will die in prison. I lived the last 20 years of my life in fear. Now I have no fear because I'm no longer in control."

Even though he had more material wealth and freedom in his old life, the constant struggle to maintain pretenses and the paranoia necessary to keep his lifestyle ate through him.

I'm also reminded of Pema Chodron's comments on the "wisdom of no escape", the peace that comes from accepting that there's no way out of your situation, a conceit that is echoed in research that has been done in cognitive psychology (TED talk). Sometimes we have to drag ourselves kicking and screaming into the cold water before we can realize that the clean refreshment was exactly what we needed.

Steve Jobs, Trungpa, and Joni Michelle

I was reading through the What Kind of Buddhist was Steve Jobs, Really? article (a great read!) attached to the Ocean of Dharma quote this week and discovered two interesting things:

* One of the books that inspired Jobs to pursue the Buddhist path was Trungpa's Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism

* Joni Mitchell's song Refuge of the Roads was written about Trungpa, who was at one point her spiritual advisor.

Bravery

This offering is from Jonathan:


Bravery is letting go of doubt while allowing it to be the only thing
that catches you.

After spending time with the group last night & having a lot of
contemplation on the question, followed by non contemplation today,
this is what it boils down to for me currently. Also happens to be the
product of a boiling hot shower.

Seems appropriate to add that while in Newport, RI recently I attended
a teaching given by Khensur Rinpoche Lobsang Tenzin & his translator
Jeff. There were many things transmitted but one of the most prominent
& recurring themes was roughly "does exist but not truly established".
Bring this up now because it occurs to me that the essence of that
commentary is influencing the definition presented above.

Jonathan

Buddhist-themed movie nights?

Joel has proposed creating a regular Dharma-themed movie night.  There are a couple of resources available for finding such films, for example

• http://www.aci-la.org/mg-bulletin.html
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category%3aBuddhist_films

Please feel free to use the comments to discuss :)

Under 30 Fall Retreat - Registration

Good morning warriors!
Our next retreat to Shelburne Falls will take place the last weekend in October, from the 28th-30th. Please register using this spreadsheet: https://spreadsheets.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ak_RYbaiOyttdFFydVFBT0VwVVVwMmJRNlVKaGlfNWc&hl=en_US

The cost of the retreat will be $80. Payment will be accepted upon arrival at the retreat center. Please contact me directly if this is more than you are able to afford, because we don't want that to stop you from joining us.

Any further details about the retreat will be sent only to those who put their e-mail address on the above spreadsheet. If you aren't positive you will go, but you want to stay in the loop as plans develop, please just note that on the spreadsheet.

love,
Jade 

Under 30 Fall Retreat

We are working on choosing a date for the Under 30 Fall Retreat.  If you are interested in attending, please add your availability information to the doodle!

http://www.doodle.com/miv5h9qd52kxd8ye

Mindfully to Walden Pond

Recently our Under 30 group went on an epic bike trip to Walden Pond and back, which was a good 40 mile trek! I love that we gather together outside of the Shambhala center for exciting trips, local events, social gatherings, and the like. Anyone is welcome to come along especially if they are new to the center. The beauty of it is we might find we are more likely to practice mindfulness in “the real world” while accompanied by our fellow Sangha members. While on the trip, I noticed some striking similarities between meditation and biking.

During Under 30, we practice a seemingly personal and inward act of meditation as a group, which actually brings us closer together in a profound way. On a bike, you can control your movements, your breath, your destination, and your speed (okay, unless you’re riding a tandem) and you can bike along with others.

Meditation requires sitting in a certain position on a cushion for a comfortable, strong, upright posture that opens the chest for breathing and our hearts to others. We rode our own bikes that are unique in many ways and specifically adjusted to our own bodies for good biking posture, adequate breathing, and leg extension. When we do not have good posture we are incapable of meditating or riding a bike efficiently and properly.

In Shamatha practice, we focus our attention on our natural breath. Sometimes it feels like hundreds of thoughts pop up and distract me. I don’t think about my body and my breath while my attentions are diverted to the more fantastical stories, dreams, worries, and plans in my head, but I notice that I am thinking. Then, I come back to my breath and I feel more relaxed. I found that during my ride I was equally susceptible to my wandering mind, but I was able to bring my mind back to my breath and keeping a strong posture. I felt more stable, alert, and resilient.

I can sense a feeling of gratitude among the Under 30 members to each other for coming once or every week, for meditation with each other, for sharing their experiences, and for listening to others. I do not think that meditation is easy and sometimes you just don’t want to do it even though you know you will benefit greatly from it. It is nice to know that there will be others there joining you in the practice, offering you support, understanding, and even friendship. Similarly, an epic bike adventure can be a physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing adventure. Although you can go it alone and still enjoy it, it means so much more knowing there are other people following the same route and sharing the experience with you. Both meditation and adventures can be great ways to strengthen friendships and start new ones!

I absolutely love to bike through the city in the sun, rain and cold. It makes me feel amazing and I know my body is getting stronger each week. I also have a deep emotional attachment to Lady (my bike). We go way back and have shared so much together. I have appreciated the great impact meditation has made on my biking practice, especially after this trip to Walden Pond. Please join us for our next bike trip and I encourage you to try some mindful cycling!

July 26 Announcements

This Friday July 29th: Evening Walk-through of Potential Ancillary Space
Next Tuesday August 2 at 6:30pm: Community Meeting regarding Ancillary Space

Friday Aug 12th from 6:00pm-9:30pm: Dyad training with Nick

From Nick: "Those of you in core u30 who are interested in continuing the development of the practice of presenting,I believe we can deepen our understanding and experience of this powerful practice of social meditation, so that we can convey real richness in sharing this with new and brand new members of u30."

Tuesday August 16

• 5:30pm-6:30pm: Shastri Krusinski will be holding office hours
• 7:00pm-8:30pm: Sitting and talk by Tom Krusinski - Part II of the talk on Heaven Earth and Human principals by Shastri Carolyn Krusinski. Bamboo poles will be involved!

Fri August 19 - Sun August 21st: Shambhala Training Level I: The Art of Being Human

This first weekend retreat of the Way of Shambhala series introduces participants to the practice of sitting meditation and to the basic principles of the Shambhala path of warriorship. There is a fundamental, good energy present in all of our experience, and this basic goodness, innate to the way things are, is our own inborn, unconditional nature as well.

Saturday July 16th: Warrior Exchange Training

For the Core Members of Under 30: Nick will be leading a Warrior Exchange Training from 4-7:30pm Saturday July 16th "Those of you in core u30 who are interested in continuing the development of the practice of presenting,I believe we can deepen our understanding and experience of this powerful practice of social meditation, so that we can convey real richness in sharing this with new and brand new members of u30."  -Nicholas

Saturday July 16th: Volunteer 1/2 Day

The next Volunteer 1/2 Day will be from 10-2pm Saturday July 16th

Painting, scraping, fixing and generally making the center sparkle!

Come for all or part of the morning, every bit helps. We'll also order some Pizza to fuel the fire!

Bring UV Block, clothes that can get paint and dirt on them and your skillz to pay billz.

August 16: The Krusinski's

On Tuesday August 19th, August 23rd Shastri Krusinski will be available for office hours.  Tom Krusinski will be leading discussion on Heaven Earth and Man principals, with bamboo poles!

July 26: Rusung of the Dorje Kasung: Brian McCorkle

Brian McCorkle will be joining us to speak about Kasung.

July 19: Shastri Krusinski

On Tuesday July 19th, Shastri Krusinski will be available for office hours and will be leading discussion.

Group Discussion: Lead by Ashley

Last night we had a wonderful discussion lead by Ashley.  While taking her seat Jade led the group in the "name game" exercise.

To start the evening Ashley read the following quote which expresses the groundlessness of presenting the Dharma to a group of people.

Hearing Words of Wisdom

When we listen to a speaker, we are gathered and expectant. We expect an ideal message or certain edifying ideas from the speaker. Because of our need to satisfy our intellect and emotions and to get some security, we want to hear words of wisdom, and we remold the speaker's words to satisfy that need. We shape them and reshape them, manufacturing fixed and definite impressions from the raw materials of the speaker's words. The result is that we constantly have nothing but ourselves bouncing back on ourselves. That is always a problem. It is very difficult to find both an audience who will sit in no-man's-land and a speaker who speaks from no-man's-land. That kind of attitude is very difficult, extremely hard to find.

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
Ocean of Dharma, 365 Teachings on living life with courage and compassion

While being right there with her anxiety around leading discussion, Ashley beautifully lead the group into a social meditation exercise.  The gist was that we partnered up and, with our eyes closed, got in touch with the "face" we put on for others.  Doing our best to project this quality out to our partner, we opened our eyes and felt was it was to be with another person while steeped in it.  We closed our eyes again and dropped it, opening our eyes again to our partner to be with them without pretense.  


As a group, we debriefed and heard many folks different, and similar experiences with the exercise.  A number of folks expressed the first part to have a gross, or sickly sweet quality.  A number of folks described putting on a fake smile or being particularly exuberant as a way they present themselves.  Some describe a physical tension in their bodies.  Most who spoke up described the second half of the exercise to be a relief.  Especially those who had been participating in the group for some time and had experience with this sort of social meditation, and even longed for the sort of direct connection that occurs here.


Would you like to continue this conversation?  Please feel free to leave a comment below.

Something Profoundly Important

If someone asked a young person today, “Would you like to leave your comfort zone in the bustling, distracting, stimulating city of Boston and head out to the middle of nowhere with a group of other young people you probably don’t know very well to sit around and breathe…in silence?” I honestly don’t think they would jump at the opportunity and would probably raise their eyebrows at the question, but I’m glad a few of us were brave enough to go for it.

I’ve been a familiar face at the Under 30 group at the Boston Shambhala Center for the past year. No matter how mindful I think I have been or how much more significant Shambhala has become for me, nothing could have prepared me for profound exuberance I felt after a two-day meditation retreat with seventeen others from our young Sangha group.

The retreat left me almost overwhelmed with gentleness, courage, sadness, loving kindness, lightness, and a most awesome appreciation for the beautiful people who shared it with me. Unbelievable, right? Most of the time I’m sure we looked like we were pretty bored sitting there doing nothing. But I could sense an unexplainable understanding and appreciation that we were doing something profoundly important for ourselves and each other. Whether we were sitting, practicing yoga, sharing meals or tea, practicing being silent, or having fun and talking, I have no doubt that focusing on our breath and synchronizing our minds and bodies helped us connect more deeply with ourselves as well as each other.

Looking back on our interactions that weekend, I appreciate everyone for having the courage to boldly be who they are as well as kind and authentically present with themselves and others. Seeing that in my new friends helped me find bravery within myself. It was absolutely liberating to feel so close and uninhibited around people I basically only knew through the meditation group, a few whom I only had just met that weekend. It was difficult to return from the retreat, but I have definitely felt that genuine kindness and mindfulness pervading every aspect of my life since.

Although our young Sangha group has been around for some time, it has certainly blossomed over the last few months and the meditation retreat has only enhanced that. I think each person who attended the retreat has given back to the group as a whole by being even more genuine, kind, and open to everyone that walks through the center’s doors. In addition to its fearless leadership, one of the key aspects of Under 30’s success is that everyone plays a role in facilitating the creation of a safe space in which to be mindful and to have an open heart, which can be both challenging and uplifting. We have bravely made it our own. I’m so thankful that it exists and brings so much energy into my life, but I am even more grateful to everyone who has made it what it is today.

Shelburne Falls retreat May 20-22nd

Our group will be going on retreat this weekend, if you are interested in joining, please see our post in the mailing list for details and sign-up information:

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/bsu30/jL4SgI_tD0U/discussion

Warrior

This past week (and some) I've been having a lot of trouble. It's been that little voice inside me saying, "it's too difficult," or "why bother?" My practice fell apart. I've been to social gatherings but avoided other people because it was easier. I felt that overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. I'm not good enough to engage with these people. It's too much trouble to sit. That little voice that feeds me all of the excuses I need.

I feel like I've been really passive about it. "Oh, things are OK, but I don't really need to exert myself, things will sort themselves out." That depressive, "bleh" feeling that things kind of suck but it's too much work to make them better.

I'd forgotten what being a warrior is all about. I was reminded of that this evening. That, "oh, it's too hard," feeling isn't a mellow thought, it's a call to arms. It DEMANDS a roar of determination; if you do not overcome this self doubt, you are MISSING EVERYTHING. You are MISSING your life!

That fire, the passion, the curiosity; that is what being a warrior in Shambhala is all about. These opportunities that arise for us, the chances that life gives us to either say, "yeah, whatever," or to step up, to engage, even, and especially, when we're afraid. That is how you learn about yourself, about reality, and grow your own strength.

Fearlessness is the essence of being a warrior. Not in the sense of not being afraid, but moving beyond that fear, even though you're terrified.

Thank you, Valerie, for reminding me, for reminding all of us, that we need to turn towards the discomfort. That is where the heart of warriorship lies.

Lonely Lonely

Why do we feel lonely? Do we need some positive confirmation of our talents or personality from others? Is there a cultural expectation of always being or communicating with other people in some way while being alone is somewhat pitiful and synonymous with exclusion? When do we feel lonely? Is being alone the same as being lonely? Does it require physical separation from other beings, or do you often feel the most lonely when you are surrounded by people? When we feel lonely, is searching for comfort in company and social interaction always the best way to ameliorate it or is it sometimes an act of desperation?

Through meditation practice and infusing mindfulness into my life, I have tried to find inner strength and personal growth in being alone. In doing so, I have come to realize that my feelings of loneliness are more intermittent since I have found comfort in being myself and enjoying who I am. I am not saying that I don’t need anyone else in my life (certainly not!) or that I absolutely won’t turn to others for help or advice in great emotional distress, but I’m not constantly searching for something or someone, I don’t feel the need to always be surrounded by others, I appreciate the people in my life so much more, and I can give more of my attention and devotion to those I love since I am more comfortable with who I am.

We had an awesome discussion about loneliness at U30 last week. I thank everyone, especially Matt, for being so open, honest, hilarious (of course), and emotional. As soon as the topic was announced at the discussion, a few of my favorite songs immediately started playing in my head. Music has a powerful effect on me. These songs have truly helped me through some of the loneliest times in my life and sometimes I find that music can speak of my feelings better than I can myself. I wanted to share them hoping to better explain how I experience loneliness and being alone. At first I thought they were very cynical and self-defeating, but I think they are a proclamation of devotion to oneself for a while to really come to terms with habits of self-delusion, how you can be more of who you are, and figuring out what you want or don’t want…enjoying the journey all the while no matter what anyone thinks.

Andrew Bird – Lull
Music Video
Favorite Lyrics:
Being alone, it can be quite romantic
Like Jacques Cousteau underneath the Atlantic
A fantastic voyage to parts unknown
Going to depths where the sun's never shone
And I fascinate myself when I'm alone

Rufus Wainwright – One Man Guy
Music Video
Favorite Lyrics:
People will know
when they see this show
The kind of a guy I am
They'll recognize just what I stand for
and what I just can't stand
They'll perceive what I believe in
What I know is true
And they'll recognize I'm a one man guy
Always was through and through
People meditate
Hey that's just great
Trying to find the inner you
People depend on family and friends
And other folks to pull them through
I don't know why I'm a one man guy
Or why I'm a one man show
But these three cubic feet of bone and blood and meat are all I love and know

Look See

How often do you walk down the street in your neighborhood and look at your feet or straight ahead without actually seeing anything, your mind in another place? Are your surroundings always just a part of an endless backdrop? How often do you wake up one morning and the next thing you know you realize you’re at home 12 hours later getting ready to settle in? Are you frustrated with time and prefer to jump ahead a few days to the weekend or a special plan, instead of looking at what you are doing and where you are at that moment? Do you ever want to look at people’s faces noticing their expressions as they move past you in the street or a park? Do you let prefabricated perceptions and judgments rule your actions and emotions in every situation you are in and every encounter you may possibly have without seeing it for what it really is and what could possibly become of it if you just look at it a different way?! *phew

Well just look. See here? You’re missing everything!

Lately, I have been trying very hard to step back often and look at my life, my surroundings, my feelings, and the people in and around it. I want to truly SEE, understand, appreciate, (name your synonym) what is in front of me. I want to explore new relationships and interactions with places and people I have not encountered, I have once briefly seen, and I know very well. I think I do this more easily now since starting meditation a year ago, but it gets more difficult to embrace those moments when I stop meditating regularly. My goals require an open mind, contemplation, a divergence from what I know and am comfortable with, and, ultimately it requires vulnerability and direct action to really affect my view and impact on the world around me. This week’s U30 activity emulated that very well. When you are taken out of your element, slightly disoriented, and see something you may or may not recognize but have no immediate frame of reference for…it’s exhilarating! Step away from what you think you know or from the way you always perceive a place, interaction, person, or feeling and see it in a new light. Each day is filled with opportunities to consciously interact with even familiar scenes and people in new ways. For example, during the activity, we were told to look at random spots in the room. Some of us focused on one part we didn’t recognize before and others just saw abstract shapes and lines. We talked about walking along the street and deciding to give that person some change and possibly having a conversation with them. On a more personal note, I have very recently had an incredible rush of the most wonderful, intimate, inspirational, and brand new interactions with quite a few people from my past and present. We now know each other in new and deeper ways because we decided to open our eyes to new possibilities and be fearlessly honest with each other. Some interactions were quite beautiful and others were actually painful to deal with, but I’d rather take the chance in saying and hearing the truth while feeling and experience something new in my life than not see new possibilities at all.

I wanted to write about U30 this week because 1) in the past month or two I have only attended Nyinthun if at all and have not stayed for the U30 discussions 2) I find it very difficult to make my second paragraph more of a reality without dedicating some time to formal meditation and discussion every week and 3) I recently told a friend in Shambhala that I don’t know why I am STILL completely shocked that our Shambhala discussion DIRECTLY relates to my life. The focus of our discussions and what is absolutely significant at that point in my life converge in some way every week. Seriously! That’s powerful stuff.

Peace and Carrots,
Meghs

Cancelled: Tues May 10: Shastri Krusinski Evening

Shastri Krusinski will be holding office hours and leading discussion on Tuesday May 10th.  Don't miss it!

Read more about Shastri Krusinski and her office hours. 

Tues April 5: Shastri Krusinski Visiting

This upcoming Tuesday, Shastri Krusinski will be holding office hours and leading our evening discussion.

http://bsu30.blogspot.com/p/shastri-hours.html

Shambhala Day Address

If you joined us Tuesday March 15th, we listened to part of the Sakyong's Shambhala Day address.  

If you are interested in listening to the address, you can find it here:
http://shambhalatimes.org/2011/03/08/making-the-impossible-possible/

Or you can read it here:
http://shambhalatimes.org/2011/03/12/shambhala-day-address-2011/

Our Calling Cards

You may have seen our "calling cards" on the table by the door.  If you haven't here is what they look like:

Those are nearly out, so I wanted to design something new for the next batch.   I wanted to leave some space for being written on and I wanted to use a picture that seemed more relevant.

The picture I choose is one I took a couple of summers ago of three stages of a blooming flower stitched together like panorama's are done. 

 

The physical manifestation of the cards will show up at the center in the next few weeks.

Under 30 Group Sits Together in (Cyber)Space

Posted on Wake Up Boston!

Under 30 Group Sits Together in (Cyber)Space

Sarah Lipton will offer Under 30 an evening called The Presence Point

"Be present
In your body
In the space
While moving
Sensing
Expressing
Reflecting"

Shambhala art, or dharma art refers to any creative work that springs from an awakened state of mind, characterized by directness, un-self-consciousness, and nonaggression. It's not about "art", it's about direct perception and playing with the creativity that springs from that experience.

Join us Feb 22, 2011 at 7:00pm! 

 
To dive more fully into Shambhala Art, join us for Shambhala Art Part I & 2: Coming to Your Senses & Seeing Things as They Are, February 25th - February 27th with Acharya Arawana Hayashi.

 

--
Sarah is the full-time Center Coordinator at the Boston Shambhala Center. A graduate of Naropa University, she now manages the publicity for the Shambhala Center, as well as coordinating behind-the-scenes activity to help the Shambhala community flourish in Boston. She lives in Jamaica Plain, MA with her husband, garden, and Brazilian Rainbow Boa.

Shastri Hours with Carolyn Krusinski

Shastri Carolyn Krusinski will be available between 5:30pm and 6:30 pm on the days that she teaches, in the Kalapa suite to discuss anything Shambhala.  Carolyn has generously set aside this time to meet with members of our group, so be sure to stop by!

You may be wondering:

Who is Carolyn Krusinski? Carolyn is precise, passionate, knowledgeable, kind, supportive, interesting to talk to and just plain awesome!  See this blurb from when Carolyn visited our group in the past.

What is a Shastri? A senior teacher who is focused on the Way of Shambhala curriculum. See this article from Shambhala Times for more info: Sakyong creates new teaching and mentoring position in Shambhala

Where is the Kalapa Suite?  It's on the left as you enter the center with the double-glass-doors.

When does it start? Tuesday February 1st.

What do you mean "anything Shambhala?" Curious about those "levels" we keep talking about?  Have a question about your practice? Have you been practicing for some time and would like some direction on your path? Wondering who this "Sakyong" guy is?  Would you like a recommendation on a good book to read to support your practice?  Never met Carolyn before? Want to know what all that stuff is on the shrine?  What to know how to get more involved in the center?