How often do you walk down the street in your neighborhood and look at your feet or straight ahead without actually seeing anything, your mind in another place? Are your surroundings always just a part of an endless backdrop? How often do you wake up one morning and the next thing you know you realize you’re at home 12 hours later getting ready to settle in? Are you frustrated with time and prefer to jump ahead a few days to the weekend or a special plan, instead of looking at what you are doing and where you are at that moment? Do you ever want to look at people’s faces noticing their expressions as they move past you in the street or a park? Do you let prefabricated perceptions and judgments rule your actions and emotions in every situation you are in and every encounter you may possibly have without seeing it for what it really is and what could possibly become of it if you just look at it a different way?! *phew
Well just look. See here? You’re missing everything!
Lately, I have been trying very hard to step back often and look at my life, my surroundings, my feelings, and the people in and around it. I want to truly SEE, understand, appreciate, (name your synonym) what is in front of me. I want to explore new relationships and interactions with places and people I have not encountered, I have once briefly seen, and I know very well. I think I do this more easily now since starting meditation a year ago, but it gets more difficult to embrace those moments when I stop meditating regularly. My goals require an open mind, contemplation, a divergence from what I know and am comfortable with, and, ultimately it requires vulnerability and direct action to really affect my view and impact on the world around me. This week’s U30 activity emulated that very well. When you are taken out of your element, slightly disoriented, and see something you may or may not recognize but have no immediate frame of reference for…it’s exhilarating! Step away from what you think you know or from the way you always perceive a place, interaction, person, or feeling and see it in a new light. Each day is filled with opportunities to consciously interact with even familiar scenes and people in new ways. For example, during the activity, we were told to look at random spots in the room. Some of us focused on one part we didn’t recognize before and others just saw abstract shapes and lines. We talked about walking along the street and deciding to give that person some change and possibly having a conversation with them. On a more personal note, I have very recently had an incredible rush of the most wonderful, intimate, inspirational, and brand new interactions with quite a few people from my past and present. We now know each other in new and deeper ways because we decided to open our eyes to new possibilities and be fearlessly honest with each other. Some interactions were quite beautiful and others were actually painful to deal with, but I’d rather take the chance in saying and hearing the truth while feeling and experience something new in my life than not see new possibilities at all.
I wanted to write about U30 this week because 1) in the past month or two I have only attended Nyinthun if at all and have not stayed for the U30 discussions 2) I find it very difficult to make my second paragraph more of a reality without dedicating some time to formal meditation and discussion every week and 3) I recently told a friend in Shambhala that I don’t know why I am STILL completely shocked that our Shambhala discussion DIRECTLY relates to my life. The focus of our discussions and what is absolutely significant at that point in my life converge in some way every week. Seriously! That’s powerful stuff.
Peace and Carrots,
Meghs
